I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
He has the fingertips of a God
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