We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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