Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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