U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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