AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize