sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
