Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize