By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
