i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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