I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
