I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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