she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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