i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
