i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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