i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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