After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Sober January is a disaster.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
