So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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