I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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