Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
