one two three fourrrrnication!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize