We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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