Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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