Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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