she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
