I just made out with a guy for $7.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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