dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
