There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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