dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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