so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
