WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
