That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
