She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
