How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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