When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize