He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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