Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
