I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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