this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
