Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize