he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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