You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You took a bar mat shot.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
