For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
