Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
you guys were way drunker than both of me
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
