i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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