Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize