I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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