Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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