4 words: hood of his car
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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