yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I touched a dick in church today
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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