i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
