i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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