Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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