It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
