whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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