Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
