MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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