I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
