Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
