she was so not down for the gang bang
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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