There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
