I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
