People with herpes should wear stickers.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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