David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
