Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
