dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
