the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
