I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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