well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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